“There is beauty all around when there’s love at home,” (“Love at Home” from Hymns; Text and music: John Hugh McNaughton, 1829–1891.)
This is one of my favorite hymns and it has a very important message to everyone, not just Christians. There is more joy, peace and harmony at home when love abounds. But how can you cultivate that environment when it feels like your home is always in a disarray of yelling, fighting, whining children, and patience having all but run out the door?
For one thing, I know you cannot change other people or dictate their actions. Everyone is entitled to their gift of agency and some choose to use it poorly. I know that some homes are abusive, some only have one parent, others are broken. Love at home is still possible, but you have to emulate that from within yourself. I am not saying you need to give in to abusers and shower them in affection and love they do not deserve, however, you can show love, kindness and charity to any children you have, loved ones outside the home, and friends that build you up instead of breaking you down. This will still foster more love and peace tin your life and home.
What can you do to bring about more love at home? Well here is a list of ideas that have helped me and others around me.
1. Leave Notes
Have you ever been left a note in your lunch box, found one in a book or on your car that made your day? Such a small action can bring about great things! Write down notes about what you like about the person, an uplifting quote, or a short “I love you” and leave it where they can find it later; in a lunch box, on their bed, on their steering wheel, in the book they are currently reading, the list goes on!
I remember a time I was having pretty difficult day that resulted in me not feeling well physically. When I was about to head home from work, I discovered someone had left me a small box of cookies with a sticky note on it wishing me a good weekend and quick recovery from whatever was causing my physical ailment. Even though this did not take away the problems I was having, it still put a smile on my face and made my day! Notes can go a long way!
2. Make a Treat or Dish
When you have a crummy day (or crummy week) sometimes you may find yourself wanting your favorite foods. The thought of having that food can raise your spirits a little bit, but it’s even better when someone brings it without you asking first.
I love baking; cookies, pies, soufflés, cakes, muffins, you name it! Sometimes, I’ll make too much or feel someone needs whatever treat I just made. I’ll leave it on their doorstep or give it to them in person. Everyone who receives the baked goods are always so grateful! When we are giving to our neighbors we are also giving to God! Be selfless and give your friends, family and neighbors a pick-me-up plate!
3. Service
How often do you participate in service, if ever? You do not have to join a volunteer organization to participate in service, though those are certainly good as well. Service is simple. You can pick up trash on your street, ask if you can mow your neighbor’s lawn or rake their leaves, you can offer to babysit for a couple that hasn’t had a date night in awhile and much more.
“Yeah Madison, that’s great, but what does service have to do with increasing love at MY home?”
Glad you asked! Selfless service is service to not just the people you are helping but to God. That warm, peaceful feeling when you help someone pack their moving van even when you had “better things to do” or when you give your old clothes to a family you know that’s in need is confirmation of that. When we serve God and our fellow men, God molds us into something greater than we are. We emulate Christ’s love and charity more, which then increases it’s appearance in our homes as well. Service can also be done within the home, helping a family member with a difficult chore, helping make dinner, washing the dishes without asking or being told, tidying up the house if you come home early from work or school. Serve in many ways over many days.
4. Scripture Study and Prayer
We all have weaknesses, but God can turn our weaknesses into strengths. For example, if you struggle with patience, by praying, studying the scriptures and exercising patience more in your life you will find that it becomes easier and easier to you until it is one of your strengths. The same thing applies to love, charity, kindness, humility, meekness and forgiveness. Praying for an increase of these traits and studying the scriptures while highlighting and noting what they say are the qualities of having these traits can help you work on obtaining them yourself. Even if this seems totally impossible, I promise you it’s not. It’s difficult, yes, but nothing is impossible through Christ.
5. Forgiveness
Lastly, there is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not always easy. Sometimes people, including those closest to us, can hurt us even if they are well meaning. It can take lots of healing to recover from whatever damage is left, but you will never truly be made whole again. Mark 11: 25-26 says, ” And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.” We cannot be forgiven ourselves if we choose to hold grudges and unforgiveness against another person. There are multiple studies that have also been done showing the mental and even physical effects of unforgiving, grudge holding can have on a person compared to those who whole heartedly forgive.
Forgiveness does not mean or make whatever happened okay. It also does not mean you should go back to an unsafe situation. It means letting go of those feelings and burdens left behind and giving them to the Savior. When we hand over these things, it will make us lighter and more whole. We show more love to those who need it and to ourselves. All these things help us in our day to day lives and the next life.
Increasing love at home can be simple but may take time. Keep pressing forward and follow the streams of light that will continue to get brighter and light your way.
